What are words..

Every time I try to make something fun/excite,
there must be something ask me inside, "For what reason are u feeling happy for..??".
It whispered on me like I don't deserve happiness..
It feel like I'm a sick and masochistic person ever lived on earth..
why..? why me..??
I took every risk by choosing to be myself,
Though malice will surround me like hell and I don't even f*cking care bout it..

I never blame you for every hings happened between us,
I never lie to you on every single things I've said,
I never force you to love me when I say I that I need you..
but your love is too strong for me to resist it away..
It's feels like your love is my brand new heroin for me to have it badly..

But, what else I can do..
I'm no GOD to made you for myself..
Though we're not together, but I will always be waiting for you..
and you don't have to be worried bout it,
coz I'm the real me and never changed my feeling towards u..

What are word if you really don't mean them when you say them..??
What are words if they are only for a good time then they don't..??
When it's love, you say it out loud, those word they never go away,
They live on, even when we're gone..

I'm sorry for everyone which I've been promising anything but I never done it,
It's not because I'm lying, it's just I'm still sticking to the old promise that I've made myself..
I've made a vow to myself will only love Mi Rey forever one and only..
Though for some reason that we can't be together but one thing for sure,
I'll be waiting for it even it takes for the rest of my life..
coz I'm a man of his words..

Regards: Nakatsu Shinsuke..